the truth is...i dont know what to say

morning readers... friends... families...
i dont know what to write actually, but deeply in my heart and soul, i feel something... unfortunately i have no ideas what a feeling is this... im speechless... it is too complicated... happy, curious, sad, excited, pressure i dont really know what is it... blended... and every second of my life, i am really miss him...even we stay under one roof... i feel like i wanna cry... wish i could... ya ALLAH swt, show me the way... lead me ya allah... i dont understand what will happen to me... or happened to me... i wish if i could talk to someone... who can understand it... i feel sad to see people sad... and i dont know why i felt guilty of something  i didn't do... try to touch something impossible to do so... why...what...how to ease this feeling ya allah... lately, when i look up the sky, i feel like Allah really near to me... is it hidayah from u ya ALLAH??? if yes, alhamdulillah...

and the truth is, i need a vacation...to the place where i can release everything... away from work, away from traffic... a place with no car, just a boat... a place which i could see the real sunset, wrapped by the wind, listen to sound of the waves... i miss that place... a place for us dd...

time pls be nice to me... give me opportunity to get off for a while... but in nearest time... i need to be away from this place... i need to be somewhere which we really belong to... and now, i couldn't think anymore... how to express my self...argggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg...


peace no war????
yes jujumohdjan...

a month of being a wife...

assalamualaikum....

hello readers and friends... everything good today??? i have lot of free time since all my students were struggling  for their final exam... and me??? doing nothing...just sitting on my soft green chair, laughing while watching comedies video in youtube, and this...this is what i did since last monday... updating my blog... do some make over of it... actually i just get a new pic fr our photographer for our post wedding pic... hahahahaha

ok as usual, let back to the title i wrote there... before i go further, i just want to say that...(coz u might think ill talk about my "secret" life with my hubby) this is totally not about something that i am strictly cant share with public due to my hubby n fam dignity... this is just a simple and short story...about  what does i feel, what make me differ from before since im being a wife for man name Muhammad Khuzairi...

its actually more than a month but we moved in our new house for a month already... so everything we shared, just both of us... im a career women... and i worked everyday (suppose to be ) 8-5... but ive change the time 8.30 am - 5.30 pm... but not on wed and thur... ive to work until 9 pm sometimes... it depends on what product i need to teach on that day... 

i didnt feel that the differences is too much in term of the "job" that a wife should do coz even i am a single women before, i am very particular on that spec... my house should always be clean and comfortable for me... i dont like the ceiling full of spiderwebs... hate dirty fridge, unclean toilet and bathroom... and kitchen!!!! should always be good at my eyes, clean under my foot, and cutlery and small equipment should...not just should but have to be place properly... thats me... fussy lady...sometimes my students said me that...

the routine that we had together not that much differ... but i am happy... to get a chance to be a wife... Thanks Allah s.w.t i praise to you for giving me such a beautiful life, laugh and tears to share with someone name husband... i realized that ive someone beside me... to taking care of... to share with... to concern about... to be beside... to fight sometimes... arguing each other, then make us laugh... i have something to do everyday im back home... i glad to have him who will accompany me for my dinner,and coffee time early morning b4 work...

he such a hardworking man... helped me taking care of our house, cleaning process... watching desperate housewife together... living together with someone name husband will really make a women's life getting better... i feel more secure since he stay with me everynight... 

ive cook almost everyday... coz i am very high demand toward food quality... hahahha....so i prefer to cook my self... of course i cook everyday coz i was trained for about 6 years in cooking and now im teach people cook... hahaha...but i dont really like to food that i cook too... hahahha... its normal for a chef rite... 

everymorning, ill prepare drink for him...always nescafe and it is so sweet when he prepared for me too...we'll drink together then work... i love my routine... and i think my hub was a lucky man... he will have a dinner with a different cuisine everynight... i love to cook pasta, with a homemade gravy... or noodles or our comfort food...rice!!!   

i heard friends saying that my hub getting chubby since married... one of them is jojo... lol, that really happened to him... no more old shirt he can wear... and pants too... what to do...hahhaha... i pray to god i can always be a good wifey for him... i can perform my responsibility toward allah, hubb, parents, and fam... 

alhamdulillah allah s.w.t... 

peace no war...

jujumohdjan

pangkat bukan ukuran...

assalamualaikum...hello readers and friends...
ok refer to the title post kali neh, mmg rs nk sangat tulis byk2...we had a simple discussion just now...with some of my friends... berckp pasal pangkat... personally, i am really respect those who know who they are, how deep their knowledge, which position they hold on, and most important is, even they work as a higher position than other, they know how to respect, react and manage their supporter and people around them... they know what to do and what shouldn't do... semua orang bermula dari bawah... i believed in it... cume masa yg berlainan... dan for sure, rezeki allah s.w.t...


walau setinggi mana pon pangkat yg diberi, semua manusia ttp berada di ranking yg sama di sisi Allah swt... yg menjadi kan kita berbeza adalah dari amalan dan dosa yg kita bawa bersama... bukan harta, pangkat mahupun ilmu duniawi... mmg kita perlu kan dunia dan akhirat, tp jgn terlalu pandang ke barat... mementingkn pangkat... sampai ketepikan bahasa, lupakan rasa hormat walaupun dengan org yg kita pernah bergelak tawa... lagi menjadi manusia yang berpangkat neh semakin dipandang serong, bl mana manusia ni dh mula berani memberi arahan yg berbeda dari tugas hakikinya... mempergunakan manusia dibawahnya untuk kepentingan peribadi... nk jaga poket sendiri sampai kita dicaci dimaki??? mcm tu ke pangkat yg dimaksudkan??? bila dh jadi ketua tu, kena la jd yang adil... as a leader, that person should know how to be a good one... know how to be a good decision maker... yes sometimes the leader should listen to their subordinate, but when come to make a decision, they have to be professional... being on the middle line... think the benefit and effect of it... jgn medengar di sebelah pihak,atau menilar dari pandangan kasar... dan bila ada masalah yang dibangkitkan melibatkan dignity seseorang, jaganlah dijadikan bahan umpatan... seorang ketua yg baik, xakan menceritakan keburukan org bawahannya kepada kalangan bawahannya jgk... xperlu semua tu...




kalau berpangkat tapi tidak menggunakan pangkat itu dijalan yang benar, baguske mcm tu??? and the worse thing is, u got the position based on something that u shouldnt get it by right... contohnya, gunakan org lain untuk dapatkan pangkat tu... mungkin nilai yang dibayar untuk pangkat tu yg menjadi pojaan hati??? hahaha...jgn lah terlalu memandang harta... dan bila diberi pangkat tu, gunalah ke arah yg benar... gunakan untuk membetulkan yang salah... menegakkan apa yg sebenarnya perlu ditegakkan... bukan menegakkan benang yang basah...meg iyakn yang terang lagi salahnya... hurm... minta allah swt jauhkan aku dari keadaan ini... jauh sekali menjadi golongan begini...


pangkat oh pangkat, isilah tempat ini dengan org yg benar2 layak... yg iklas, yg tahu nilai pangkat itu sendiri... yg tahu nk jalankan tanggungjawab untuk pangkat itu sendiri... bukat hanya tahu ckp " aku kan pangkat lagi tinggi dari kau, so buat je lah" or " itu bukan masalah sy, yg sy nk tahu, by the time come, keje dh siap" walhal itu keje kamu manusia oi... dan bila kamu berpangkat, berjawatan tinggi, tahu jgklah membezakan yg mana tipu yg mana asli... jgn biar mata tu ditutup dgn puji pujian, dan kata2 indah yg bukan dtg dari hati yg iklas walhal org yg bermadah tu, kejenya langsung x dibuat... atas angin istilahnya... bila disuarakan, diam seribu bahasa ketuanya... masyaallah, bukak lah mata...jd lah ketua yg berguna... yg adil seadilnya... mmg ssh, tp mencuba... bila ditegur org lain, perkara yg salah perlu diubah... jagalah yg benar2 berusaha dan melaksanakn tugasnya... bukar bangkai bernyawa yg perlu dibela...


manusia jgn lah terlalu leka...dan alpa...peringatan untuk diri aku jgk... moga manusia ini diberi petunjuknya... dan kita yg ada, jauhilah dr menjadi sebahagian darinya... amin... dan yg baik selalu dari NYA yg berkuasa, dan kurangnya itu dari kita manusia...


peace no war
jujumohdjan

meine deutsche schwester...jane lippmann

holla freund... leser...
hahhaha... im in progress to learn german language...hahhaha... trying to adding one more 3rd language in my resume...hahhahaha...no, not because of that... it is just because i've a lovely sister from germany... i met her june last year... and from that time, when we sat on the bench at the dive center and started talking, we both realized we had too much chemistry... and she is a nice person... friendly, and surprisingly, she had a very high knowledge about islam... it really impressed me... from that time, we getting closed until today...we share the good, we share the worse... i love her...smurf and me started missing her now... she had a very friendly father and mother... i skyped with them b4...now the only way for us to keep in touch is, whatsapp, skype and fb only...hey schwester,ich vermisse dich...hoffen, sie sehen im nachsten...

stop living in past...

hello guys...it been a while...im not update my blog... very busy coz i just moved in a new house, staying together with my hubby, loaded with work and had to finish all the classes that i canceled during my wedding time... marking all tests and quizzes for all subjects...and preparing the carry mark sheets and all the exam stuff... owh yes, our housewarming party...unexpected,tq guys for coming... even staying in kl, you guys could manage to be here for us...tqvm... and my students, they helped me lot...helped my hubby bbq'in till late nite...hahhahaha... thanks god i can manage it... ok let talk about what i wrote there...the title for sure...

have you ever heard about people talking about the past??? anything about the past, bad or good, worse or awesome???? frankly say, i think the best thing to do with past it just like this  beautiful quote 

‎"Learn from the past, look to the future, but live in the present." Petra Nemcova

everyone had their own past... my parents, your parents, my friends, your friends, everyone in the world...so do i... im dare to bet that u couldnt meet anyone out there who has no past moment or time in their life... even a baby still have it... the moment where they live in their mother's "tummy"... even they cant remember it, but still yes...  ive met few people who sometime blaming the past they had previously... and to be honest, i am a part of it too...last time... but what i did is, ive learned from it... thank allah swt for giving me a chance to experience this... what i had gone through before make me who i am today... i dont have a good past time before, ive experienced lot of thing which really make me feel like i am a loser...but when the days comes on, and time changing, i took a time to judge what ive did before... does it really good for me to still thinking about it??? or is that too bad to be true for me??? to blaming my self or parent or family or anyone out there??? or even sometimes blaming god for giving that to us??? last few years, i was involving in a very worse situation where i have no intention to stand back fight for my self... im facing a moment when the one u trusted, broke ur heart and make people who closed to u started ignoring u... avoiding u while they dont realize it is really ur fault??? and it make me think twice... and im started blaming my self... and from that moment, im avoiding people even my fam... no eid for me, no ramadhan, no laugh, no more gathering... 

yes my heart broke into pieces... a very small pieces which i thought i couldn't glue it back... at age 21, ive to be strong to live without them... and what i got is, now...who am i now... and allah know what right what wrong... he show the truth... he gave me strength to build up my self... give me the opportunity to live again without the past... i make the past as a book for me to learn... to be aware of what will come to u in future... yes, we become who we are nowadays coz our past... but please dont make the past as ur present... ull hurt friends... really... you'll go nowhere if u keep on living in the past... i let my past be my past and really, nothing couldnt change it... dont regret of what u did... if u made a mistake, use ur future to not repeat it again... i always said that if u did a mistake then u should avoiding it for next time...coz if u still repeat a same mistake, u are an idiot... yes idiot... i believed in it... our life a full of learning process... we couldnt avoiding it... so learn from what u had go through... even yesterday or a minute before... 

when the day my hubby replaced my father's responsibility towards myself, i remind myself, to live in present... stop talking about the past we had, take the good, forget the bad things... we had a future together to go through,  so lets prepared our self for it... not for the past... guys, im just share what ive experienced b4... if u had a bad day yesterday, let start creating a smile on ur face, then believe me, the smile will change u to be a +ve person... last but not least, please, live in present...not in ur past...

peace no war

jujumohdjan

j\peace no w

a day to remember - terengganu

hye bloggers and readers,..
this is just a simple post... just want to share about my wedd in kuala terengganu, malaysia 17 march 2012... actually the way they manage and running the ceremony quite diff from people from others state in malaysia... i mean the local people of terengganu... but still, im enjoyed the day... thanks you for everyone who attended our wedd ceremony, my hubby's friends, my family, my ex-staff... and im really thankful for the wedd present u guys gave us... to ayah, ma, kakcik, kak ngah, abg ngah, abg wan,abg long, kak long, my niece and nephew, my parent and sister of course, pak anjang and everyone who involved to make our wedd ceremony successful  on that day... im really happy to be a part of terengganurian from now on...hehheheh...will try to understand their dialect and for sure need to learn the menu of terengganu cuisine...(try to be the best cook for my hubby)...hhahahha... im really impressed since my father in law and hubby fam prepared the food themself. how they co operated and manage things to be done on time... ayah, the food was so good... and i knew that my man so damn tired on the wedd day coz he just slept for about 2 hours???? hurmmm, we both planned everything and wish the day will be the best day for us...and alhamdulillah...as we wished... thank god coz gave me a great moment and chance to be a part of their fam...


peace no war
jujumohdjan